Confession Under the Willows
by The Cute One
Summary: A sweet yet slightly sad one-shot between Snape and Lily. Ever wonder what really pushed Snape to join the Death Eaters? Something about Lily? My thoughts exactly! Read and review, please, its the first of many, I'll be needing tips. Thanks!


**Thanks for reading! The first fanfic of mine, many more to come. Enjoy!**

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Confession under the Willows

A boy and a girl walked along the path from Spinners End down to the river. On normal summer days, the polluted stream reeked of toxic fumes; today the sun was shining, and the creek gurgled with a clean peacefulness at the approach of the two children.

Well they weren't really kids anymore; both were 16 and on break from the famous wizarding school. The young man glanced towards his companion as they reached the river bank, and their favorite clump of willows.

Dazzling red hair partially obscured the girl's face; a freckled nose peaked out from her visage, milky white skin ever-so-slightly tan from the summer sun. Sunlight fell upon the girls face in a lovely golden halo.

_The absolute opposite of me,_ the boy thought, catching his own reflection in the river's surprisingly clear waters. The curtain of greasy black hair over his beaky nose had never been a hit with the ladies, but the one next to him didn't seem to mind.

A soft breeze left the willow branches dancing around the duo as they took their seats; the boy crossing his gangly legs in front of him, the girl gracefully stretching out on the cool green grass. They didn't need to speak. Being friends for seven years had built a bond that left no room for small talk. They simply enjoyed each other's company.

Snape couldn't take his eyes off the girl. She looked inconspicuous in her muggle attire, if not for the wand jutting out from her cropped jean shorts. His eyes lingered on her form, her impossible long legs, the innocent looking tank top, her soft skin absorbing the warm heat of the day. _She looks so freakin' hot_. Anyone who perchance walked by the pair would see the boy was hopelessly in love with the girl…and the love in return was unrequited.

_This needs to happen, now or never, or Potter will snatch her up like all his other toys at school. _Snape looked down into his lap, nervously twisting his hands and pondering the decision before him. The girl had closed her eyes, unaware of his intense gaze upon her.

_Damn my insult after our O.W.L's! The weeks of apologies gave me this one chance, one chance to tell her how I really feel. She wouldn't be so hesitant to be around me if it wasn't for him. For that sonovabitch to even consider taking my Lily…_his thoughts trailed away in anger and contempt for the boy.

Lily opened a lazy eye, at once a little startled at the dour expression crossing the boy's face. Snape suddenly noticed Lily eyeing him with confusion, and quickly pulled his gaze to the river. Through the waters reflective sheen, he saw the girl still looking worriedly at him. He scowled at the water. She placed a tentative hand on his shoulder, calmly asked, "Sev, are you alright?"

Snape felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, closed his eyes and sighed at the task before him.

"Lily I'm, I'm alright. I was just thinking…" Snape pivoted to face the girl he loved, "we, we've been friends for so long. Actually, you're my best friend. And, and I've been replaying that day over and over in my mind. I fucking hate what I did to you, I really do." She flinched at the raw emotion that crept into his voice. "If I could take it back, I would, in a heartbeat, Lil'. The pain I saw on your face…"

He couldn't continue, his confidence shattered at the reality of what he was really trying to say. Snape dropped his gaze to his hands which were slightly trembling. Waves of guilt crashed his psyche, the tremble threatening to consume his body. In the silence, Snape was glad at least the creek continued to gurgle, the willows kept whistling in the absence of their voices.

Then she spoke. "You should know that I forgave you," she gave a small smile, "it's actually really hard to stay mad at you."

Snape was flabbergasted, the shock slurring his mind as he choked. "But-ah-I mean-err-what?" He snapped his jaw shut, effectively shutting off the stream of incoherent words.

Lily's smile widened slightly. She waited as Snape's breathing became normal, and the blush left his face before he became comfortable enough to continue.

"I love you. I have since the day we've met, and I'd give anything to be with you."

It was Lily's turn to be shocked, her smile faltered before being replaced by a look of terrible sadness.

"Severus, I don't feel the same. I never have…and I don't think I will ever feel that way for you. I'm sorry."

If the blank, emotionless expression on Snape's face meant he wasn't hurt, it would be a humungous understatement. The mixture of sadness, rage, betrayal, and the aching of his breaking heart crept despairingly into his voice as he asked.

"Why?"

Lily shifted on the grass, obviously very uncomfortable with where the conversation had gone. "Well, I've been hanging out with really different people this year, and so have you. We've had this conversation Sev! It took a lot of my heart to forgive you, but I couldn't, I couldn't give you any more than that. And, well, I've been owling with James lately, and we've been getting close…"

She stopped speaking as the flood of emotion finally showed itself on his face. The burning anger in his coal black eyes scared her, seemed to scald as he glowered in fury at his best friend. But the disappointment in his face was too hard to swallow, so Lily rose to leave. As she turned to leave the willows, Snape grabbed her ankle. It wasn't a harsh hold, but one to keep here there just one more moment.

He calmed himself enough to say, "Are you sure?"

"I, well, I mean-"

"ARE YOU SURE?"

She let out a small gasp at the punitive shout, tears welling in her eyes. Yet she coolly replied,

"Yes."

With that Lily left the river and Snape alone.

When he was sure she was gone, he let out a pitiful moan, which collapsed unto a horrid sob. Snape was never one to cry, but the tears streaming down his face were of pain, of hurt, of such awful misery he could not contain his unruly emotions. Once the shuttering had slowed, all Snape was left with his throbbing chest and a choice to make.

He promised himself if he was shut down, if he was now completely emotionally empty, the void could only be filled with the dark arts. He would give his heart and life to the Dark Lord.

Clouds descended around the river; the toxic fumes coming back with a force, assailing his nose with the noxious gas.

All around him, the willows swayed.


End file.
